kibibu Il Lupo Stanco

Hirsute Modelling Wave Mutation Device*

Designed for fuzz junkies and passive aggressive types.

What is an Il Lupo Stanco, and why should i waste my valuable time and energy on it?

You know those times - your mother tells you to do the dishes and you don't wanna, or your girlfriend makes you watch Big Brother with her and you DON'T WANNA, or your husband is a fat geek who wants you to dress up like Sailor Moon AND YOU DON'T WANNA!

It makes you SEETHE! Your anger burns through the back of your eyes, burns until the red fog of the killing rage comes over you, and you must submit to its sweet release or you'll explode!

Well, maybe you need Il Lupo Stanco

Technically, Il Lupo Stanco is a wavetable-lookup distortion effect. It maps the range of inputs to a position in a wave, and plays the sample at that position. You can tweak the mapping with the input and position sliders, you can change between nearest neighbour, linear and fuzzy interpolation modes, and whether to pre-clip or pre-wrap the input signal to the desired input range

Thats all nerd talk! What does it DO?!

Il Lupo Stanco brings the hurt, and it brings it in weeping cancerous rectum loads. Wave after wave of incredible, ear biting, brain drilling sonic flaggelation. If you ever catch somebody stealing your gear, tie em up in your basement and let Il Lupo Stanco break them. If you ever need to deter pesky religious doorknockers or schoolchildren, let Il Lupo Stanco stand menacingly at your door. If you want to crush, destroy or just maim, Il Lupo Stanco is your friend.

Remember, Il Lupo Stanco hates you. Il Lupo Stanco wants to hurt your family.

Ok, thanks for that valuable information. Anything else?

Yes. Note that absolutely ZERO effort has gone into reducing aliasing. Il Lupo Stanco cares not for such things
Also, proper antialiasing would require some crazy expensive filtering if you jump from the start of the wave to the end.
Maybe version 2 will have pristine antialiasing, and maybe some tube modelling (StancoTube™). Who knows? Maybe my cat will excrete a million dollars.

Also note that this particular effect won't necessarily go very quiet just because the input went very quiet. You may get DC offsets, clicks, pops and more, for free!

Anticipated FAQ

Why another distortion effect?: Because this one is crazier than the others. Listen to the included .bmx
Why is it so noisy? Why does it click?: It is part of Il Lupo Stanco's charming brand of bowel churning distortion. If it really bothers you, let me know and I might see if I can figure out a solution that works for you, for a reasonable cost.
WTF does Il Lupo Stanco mean? Why would you name a distortion machine something so stupid, you idiot?: Its italian for "the tired wolf". Its about the only line I remember from italian classes in primary school. Also, blanco means "white"
What is the license on this amazing piece of software engineering? Would you be offended if I only offered $1000 for this remarkable distortion tool?: Il Lupo Stanco uses the unique Inverse Trance License (ITL). In summary, the more trance songs you produce with this software, the less entitled you are to use it.
If you have a strong fear of money and need help removing it from your life, contact me.
Its doesn't look very scary: The best serial killers look nothing like serial killers. They dress as happy clowns, or friendly bank tellers. Then they eat your tongue in front of you

* not to be used as a floatation device